The Art of Detachment: Breakthrough Principles to Transformational Leadership
By Damian D. "Skipper" Pitts
Posted: Friday, 18 June 2007
PRESS RELEASES
The Bison Group Inc
Publication Date: August 2007
"There is one thing worse than an overstressed organization or community; that is an overstressed and defeated feeling expressed within the ranks of leadership, responsible for being flexible in its approach for successfully influencing choice and change. "I can't – we can't" present pessimistic views that tear at the fabric of excellence." Your Paradigm of Choice influences your Paradigm of Change; an unspoken counseling to cynicism." – Damian D. "Skipper" Pitts, Author
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Monday, 18 June 2007
Proceeds from this project will be donated to the families of fallen U.S. Marines in Iraq – www.FallenHeroesFund.com
Leadership development and Organizational Behavior is a companywide responsibility, stretching across all departments and functions. Damian D. "Skipper" Pitts, entrepreneur, executive trainer, and author of The Art of Detachment steps away from popular culture to face the challenges of organizational leadership and convincingly asserts that many of their problems exist because organizations simply do not adapt well to changing circumstances. This publication is designed for anyone who is charged with developing talent, leading a team, or achieving growth – no matter what industry or discipline. It bridges the gap between the "what-is" (theory) and the "how-to" (practice) in transformational thinking and cutting-edge research delivered through a nontraditional approach to learning strategy-execution.
The author describes a discipline of leadership that removes the harness away from performance management. The discipline helps its reader to gain a full understanding on how to realize a state where people come into a single way of thinking, without losing their individuality, creating a "shared-vision" that achieves a predetermined objective. In doing so, deconstructing types of influence, stratagem, and execution requires a level of leadership far above current reality and a way of thinking within popular culture. The end result remains on a continuum that instructs a systematic approach to acknowledging the multiple dimensions of process improvement: people, process, product, and productivity – how to integrate educational leadership as an everyday event; a journey that finds a "voice" and influences people to find theirs.
Throughout the book, Pitts demonstrates the value and importance of implementing democracy, organizational behavior, and leadership, the same amount moving in the same direction at one time, which articulates a journey that achieves an end-state of flawlessness. He also shows how to accomplish team building using strategies derived from the United States Marine Corps. But the linkages between those components, which are arguably as important as the components themselves, are sometimes left for the reader to discern.
Leadership on every level will have an opportunity to look through a lens of executive education unlike anything before. The discipline is used to increase value, strategy, principle, and trust that captures the essence of team learning to organizations seeking to: detach from negative behaviors and habits; create new paradigms; overcome resistance to change; and control outcomes within the future picture. This is achieved from a three-tiered approach; the individual, the team, and the organization. The "art" lies in the ability to instruct on the "whys" of the individual and organizations approach for reaching peak performance while integrating the tools used to optimize results. Pitts offers an examination into the many segments that births the constructs for building a Democratic Leadership society. The inherent conceptualized modeling is designed for overcoming the sectarian struggles of life and organizational development as a prescription to failure.
The publication also looks through a difficult lens of diversity and tackles the topic as a prominent disposition for leadership prospects to promote healthy environments of positive organizational behaviors. The discipline of Democratic Leadership integrates Flawless Meritocratic Systems, Microinequities -VS- Social Intelligence: inherited social systems which unfairly advantage some, and limits others (progress based on ability and talent rather than class privilege or wealth).
Throughout the book, Pitts demonstrates the critical importance of achieving personal mastery as the most sustainable means for achieving superior performance management. He also shows how to LEAD an organization with strength and confidence; THRIVE as a team across units and departments; THINK creatively, strategically, and with transformative thought; MEASURE an organization's determination, commitment, and innovation; and CONQUER challenges with a refreshed perspective to win as individuals and organizations build the components of a Democratic Leadership environment.
Indeed, the reader must work hard in other places, too, to make conceptual modeling and gaming theory the central focus for integrating solutions across the multidisciplinary approaches. In addition, the text helps its reader to UNCOVER the secrets of today's future leaders; learn to NETWORK with peers across various disciplines; how to INTERACT with small dynamic teams for tailored take-aways; HEAR personal accounts of what works and what does not; and RETURN to the workplace motivated, inspired, and transformed in thought to LEAD into greatness by finding a voice – and help others to find theirs! Media InquiriesDamian D. "Skipper" PittsThe Bison Group CorporationPhone: (610) 809 – 6909
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
The Camp Carnegie Experience wants to invite you to get LeaderShaped!
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Life requires us to excel under ever-changing and often extremely stressful conditions if we are to succeed. Student leaders rise to optimal levels of greatness when they develop dynamic methodologies and strategies for dealing with change. Clear paths to personal and communal betterment are essential through the concepts of eight C's of the Social Processes of Leadership "SPL." They are: Common Purpose, Consciousness of Self, Congruence, Collaboration, Citizenship, Controversy with Civility, and Commitment. No matter how much one plans, the landscape of life presents unpredictable obstacles. Timeless, underlying standards of worth and conviction – the foundation for achievement – are tools for facing the daunting task of leadership growth through change.
Looking through a lens of operational excellence, the Camp Carnegie Experience engages each student and participant with leadership and organizational behavior skills training and rewards those leaders who can improvise skillfully, rather than follow out-dated routines that deliver the same results. The experience is designed to help students create new paradigms for overcoming the fear of change; helping them to become dynamic leaders capable of delivering excellence and controlling outcomes relating to expected goals. Having an opportunity to be "LeaderShaped" offers one of the most stimulating "Leader – to – Leader" forums for students seeking to graduate ahead of their peers as they head into the workforce.
Professional Development Opportunities
The Camp Carnegie Experience takes the needs of the marketplace very seriously. Students are exposed to an in-depth education that goes beyond frameworks and theories – and prepares them to leverage immediately their enhanced leadership capacity to build sustainable advantage for themselves and their institutions. The program is delivers both Continuing Educational Credits "CEU's," Professional Development Units "PDUs," and non-credit certification (Certificates of Completion) to each student who successfully completes the Camp Carnegie Experience.
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Friday, June 1, 2007
Try the Morale Constructs Strategy to Build Great Teams – Part IV
As we continue on with the series, "Building Great Teams using the Morale Constructs Strategy," part four goes into the "The Law of SPACE (Developing Community: Situational, Presence, Authenticity, Clarity, and Empathy)." This law requires you to pay very close attention to detail. It provides explicit importance to the makeup and success of a community and team-centric environment – how individuals treat and deal with one another. There are five dimensions to this law and is paramount to "Social Intelligence."
The dimensions are based on the breakthrough work of Harvard University's Howard Gardner on the topic of human intelligence; however, as we think about building dynamic teams, adopting the works of author Karl Albrecht's publication titled "Social Intelligence, The New Science of Success." Social Intelligence provides a simplistic explanation and leadership perspective on why people treat others in ways that may or may not be acceptable. As you can imagine, this is a discussion that can achieve no end road as it relates to the dynamics of building great teams. The five dimensions of Social Intelligence, also known by its short name "SI," are outlined to identify perceptiveness, situational savvy, successful interaction, and transferable skills as the drivers for successfully interacting with people across a community.
Sometimes, as we begin to learn something that comes across as phenomena, we quickly realize that the paradigm it presents is not rocket science. In most cases, it presents knowledge that is common sense and probably has been in use by the learner for some time but known by a different name or technique. Social Intelligence poses no difference. The dimensions found within the Law of SPACE have been grouped into a knowledge paradigm to instruct on the topic of 'trust' from an even deeper perspective.
The Law of SPACE can be summed up simply as: having the developed potential, when applied correctly, to engage everyone within a community in a lively, insightful, and compelling exploration of the most crucial of human competencies. SI offers a 'real-life' framework filled with examples and practical tools and skills. This law is your guide for navigating your way through the sometimes mystifying, sometimes hilarious, and always stimulating world of person-to-person interactions. This explanation was inspired after author Albrecht conducted exhausting research for his publication. Social Intelligence, SI, and/or the Law of SPACE have been adopted within most successful organizational communities for building great teams. It offers a dimensional approach for growing into the immediate future "stronger," as a team, and places a significant focus on behavior and action from every individual within the community.
The Law of SPACE places a set of keys within the hands of life – for everyone to drive humanity – into greater levels of accomplishment. The Law of SPACE outlines the five dimensions as followed:
S: Stands for Situational Awareness – Building the skills of SA.
P: Stands for Presence – Building the skills of P.
A: Stands for Authenticity – Building the skills of A.
C: Stands for Clarity – Building the skills of C.
E: Stands for Empathy – Building the skills of E.
It all begins with Situational Awareness "SA"
Situational Awareness, or by its short name "SA" is a human factors term which of late has become something of a buzzword. There is more to situational awareness than simply being 'aware of your situation.' Despite its popularity and ubiquity as it relates to Social Intelligence, there is much debate within the scientific literature about what SA is, how it works, and whether we need such a concept at all. Situational Awareness is described as comprising three focused levels:
Level 1. Perception of elements;
Level 2. Comprehending the meaning of the elements; and
Level 3. Achieving an understanding to project manage future states.
Situational Awareness can be described variously as having a 'situational radar;' knowing and understanding what is going on around you and predicting how things will change, or, in other words, 'being coupled to the dynamics of your environment.' Your situational radar means that you have a respectful interest in people. If your radar is not working to its capacity meaning, you may be preoccupied with your own feelings, interests, needs, and interactions, people may not be willing to accept you socially and/or cooperate with you in a respectful manner. Let's take a look at how one would go about building the skills of Situational Awareness. As we look at building personal skills and do the things that are necessary to increase a person's capacity and transferable skills, here are a few things that can be employed:
- People Watching: Have you noticed in your travels that watching people out in public offers an entertaining, interesting, and questionable experience? When you're out in a mall, walking throughout the community that you live, or anywhere that people gather, take a look at how people interact with the relationships that are with them. Also, take a look at how people interact with the community of individuals that are within the space. Try to figure out what types of relationships you see. Do they affiliate their affection to one another or do they seem cold or antagonistic?
- Identify your own Proxemic Contexts: Proxemic Contexts are the dynamics of the physical environment that people are interacting, the behavioral makeup that stimulates the structure within the space, and the influence the space has on the entire community. It has to do with the informal or personal spaces that surround individuals. This can be classified by three different types of space: intimate space, social and consultative spaces, and public space. Intimate space is the closest bubble of space surrounding an individual. Entry into this space is acceptable only for the closest friends and intimates. Social and consultative spaces are those that people feel comfortable conducting routine social interactions with acquaintances as well as strangers. Public space is the area of space beyond which people will perceive interactions as impersonal and relatively anonymous. Ask yourself a question: how does your behavioral influence effect your physical structuring of space and the way people behave within those spaces? Remembering the three types - do you spend more time in one space over another? For example, when you enter a room in the workplace, where do you navigate to? How does your arrangement within the office communicate your opinion of status, attitude, or authority?
- Linguistic Framework: Practice the various language buzz words heard throughout the day and think about how their meanings influence greatness or cause disharmony within your community. How a person's varying languages identify levels of social status (slang, speech, profanity, etc) and their influence on others?
- Relationship Identifiers: Do you understand the non-verbal signals that people use to define their intentions on relationships? How do you and others within your community convey authority and/or approachability? Practice learning the signals, as they are drivers for understanding behavioral influence.
Here's a Situational Awareness Scenario
You are standing in the parking lot preparing to enter a building. At that moment you witness a man driving into the parking lot, exit his vehicle, and open the trunk of his car. As you continue to watch, you notice the man as he begins to take a firearm out of a case and make sure that it is loaded as it is placed on his waist side. Afterwards, he takes a jacket out of a bag and puts it on to conceal the weapon. At that moment, you've already entered the building and as you begin to speak to the person at the front, the man from the parking lot enters the building walking at a fast pace towards you. He enters your intimate space and a conversation begins.
Questions:
- What are you thinking after reading the scenario?
- What is the non-verbal language telling you about the situation?
- How do you feel about the man entering your intimate space?
- By the way, the building is a police station; the man is a police officer; you are responding to a call from an officer about what you witnessed at a crime scene; and the man is the person who contacted you.
- How do you feel now?
What is Presence "P"?
Presence is one of my favorite dimensions identified within the SPACE model for the simple reason of "bearing." As a United States Marine turned business professional, my entire life as a Marine depended upon my professional bearing – my external sense of "self" that those individuals around me perceived: my level of confidence, self respect, and self worth all have to do with my bearing or "presence." My bearing or presence is also the way my appearance, attitude, and demeanor all influence the relationships within my community. Presence can also be defined as your physicality that allows for and provides the necessary "give and receive" respect and attention.
Presence also involves listening, but not only as it is defined, but also to listen and hear a person with the necessary skill set that creates and provides a quality of self-assurance and effectiveness achieved by the receipt of knowledge that allows one to connect with other people. As a person responsible for building great teams, it is very important that individuals convey confidence, professionalism, and friendliness to those within the community and who are influenced by your personal bearing.
Let's take a look at how one would go about building the skills of Presence. Although I am biased in my opinion, I can't discard my experiences as a U.S. Marine to outline ways of building the skills for bearing or "presence." As we look to increase a person's skill set in the dimension of Presence, here are a few things that can be employed in doing so for building great teams:
- Be Yourself: It is very important that you believe in yourself and be who you are as a person. Have the confidence to act in a fashion that presents you to others keeping an honest presence at all times. Find your natural self (walk, talk, stand, dress, speak, and interaction with others) and express your own voice. Imagine yourself meeting "you" on the street. How would you like to be represented? How would your first impression leave a lasting impression on you in the meeting?
- Self Description: If you were to ask someone to write a description about how they see you as a person, what do you think they would write? It is important to begin working on the areas that require improvement so that you can build a solid image for the way others perceive you and expect you to act by your history and actions.
- The Phone Message: All of us hate the way we sound when we have to setup a new outgoing message on a new telephone. If you're anything like me, you have to record your new outgoing message several times before choosing on the one that best fits your taste at that time. Try listening to your voicemail outgoing message to see how others hear you and perceive you if a caller don't know you intimately. Make a note about the changes you may want to make and execute those changes accordingly. Try doing this at least a few times per year.
- Relationship Mirror: Ask a close friend about their (brutally honest opinion) perspective when they met you for the very first time. It is important to be prepared to receive information that you might think is unfavorable, but don't get caught up in the personal conflict trap that you may create for yourself.
What is Authenticity "A"?
Authenticity refers to the truthfulness of origins, attributions, commitments, sincerity, and intentions; not a copy, phony, or misinterpretation for a way of behaving, which engenders a perception that one is honest with one's self as well as others. Author Karl Albrecht states it best; "when people respect themselves, have faith in their personal values and beliefs, and are 'straight' with others, they are likely to behave in ways that others perceive as authentic. However, in the context of SI, Authenticity involves more than simply being oneself and includes the ability to connect genuinely with other people, which demands empathy and compassion."
Let's take a look at how one would go about building the skills of Authenticity. As we look at this segment within the Law of SPACE, the dimension realizes how honest and sincere you actually are with people. In order to build on the skills that allow you to be honest with yourself first and others, one must first examine "narcissism" and "altruism," as they both relate to how we are as people. Narcissism can become pathological if it renders a person incapable of dealing with people in a responsible manner – respectful encounters. Whereas, altruism is defined as being completely unselfish for the welfare and concern of others. Here are some signs that relate to people who may exhibit qualities of narcissistic behaviors:
- Self focus during interpersonal communication.
- Difficulty maintaining and creating relationships.
- Lacking within the dimension of "Situational Awareness."
- Lack of empathy.
- Having difficulty seeing themselves as others see them.
- Vulnerability to shame over guilt – the mirror effect.
What some my see as narcissistic behaviors can easily be identified as lacking Authenticity. Things you can begin practicing and incorporating into your daily routine to increase your own dimension of Authenticity and those transferable skills for building great teams may include:
- The Past Represents the Future: Think about something you've done in the past week or moth that completely went against what you actually wanted to do instead. Did you give into yourself? Did you go along with something to reduce the amount of potential conflict within a group? How did popular culture influence your decision that caused compromise within your mind?
- Reference: The book store has become one of my favorite places to shop for materials that help me to grow in different areas of my life. Try doing this for yourself. Get yourself a great book on vales, behaviors, attitudes, etc. Review the areas that you feel may help you to improve on. If you agree with the information that is gathered from the publication, look to see if your own behaviors reflect the information you find as intriguing process improvement.
- Life's Business Plan: Learn how to develop a business plan (abbreviated) and make one for yourself. The "executive strategy, mission statement, posture statement," etc all lead to a specific objective. Developing one for your life helps to define areas that may not be aligned with your life's objectives. Review the information daily and ask yourself if you are meeting the objectives outlined by your newly defined strategy, mission and posture statements.
What is Clarity "C"?
What are your thoughts when you think about Clarity? The answer to this question has festered on my mind in troubling ways. As an entrepreneur, I've come to understand the critical importance for the dimension of Clarity. It's amazing to me how Social Intelligence is so apparent within my current reality, especially this specific dimension. I believe that Clarity may be the greatest dimension within the SPACE model. Clarity is defined as the ability to express one's self "clearly."
This is only successful when the use of specific language becomes effective in its translation that explains meaning, definition, and concepts clearly. Allow me to use my own reality as an example. Within the business dealings for my organization, I've been approached by community activists to bring our experience and program models into their community to instruct on the lessons of strategic planning and transformational thought. In order to successfully accept and complete the assignment, a decision was made to reach out to colleagues for assistance. Knowing that no compensation would be received, my position on the issue required me to express to my colleagues that compensation is not the driving force but the company is accepting the assignment to help the end users reach greater levels of personal achievement. The team was assembled and the assignment went off without fail. Everyone was happy at the end of the day, or so I thought.
Weeks after the event, conversations were presented to me about my colleagues joining the firm as full time associates. I was elated; as I believed that our synergies presented opportunities that future interactions would be aligned with developing greatness for our community and the communities we service. The discussions led to further articulating how individual experience levels, attributes, personal levels of mastery, and future goals and objectives would add value to the organization. I believed that my level of Clarity was explicit, defining my intentions with specificity. I learned that I had not been as clear as I believed. The business of human interaction is one that requires effectiveness within the paradigm of "tacit knowledge." Tacit knowledge is the science of "learning by doing."
The challenge lies in the learning aspect; meaning, if you have 'learned' to do what you believe is right, it is your responsibility to ensure that the 'doing' reflects the absolute correct way for completing the tasks and not the right way that you have been shown to do something. What am I referring? Most of us have come across a team member that is responsible for showing us how to complete a task on the job. In some cases, the demonstration is shown with a shortcut that eliminates steps and processes. We all know that the steps and processes are there for a reason. As this example relates to Clarity, each one of us can think about a common mistake made in the past when communicating with other people; we sometimes make the assumption that people automatically understand our intent, effort, and a passion for completing a task and our explanation to them about doing the same.
It may seem like I am leading you down a path that is beginning to become unclear. I am doing this on purpose to make a point. After reading the previous statements about tacit knowledge, I understanding what I am talking about, but you may not as it pertains to the context of Clarity. It is so important that all members within a community seeking a shared-vision that meets specific outcomes to understand the power of language as a medium of thought and expression and to use it as a strategic and valued asset when interacting with people. Back to my dilemma; although I believed that I was very clear within my dialog with my colleague, I lacked in my behavioral social influence that spoke louder than the words that were coming out of my mouth. By allowing my colleagues to continue to be a part of the dealings of the organization and then engaging within the human resource elements for the company, my colleagues had already moved past that point because my actions demonstrated that they had already been accepted within the company successfully.
My behavioral elements allowed for my colleagues to enter my intimate space – whereas in my mind, they were still operating within my social and consultative spaces (refer back to Proxemic Context). So, as I traced my mistakes back to understand that my own Clarity issues caused a significant problem amongst individuals that I respect and keep in high regard. The result; my colleagues and I ended up in public space – the area of space beyond which people will perceive interactions as impersonal and possibly anonymous, as communications between a team of very good people went cold.
This situation within my own personal community caused me to have to look deep within myself to decide if loosing relationships over a lack of Clarity was worth the loss of respected friendships. My answer was "no!" You see, when you experience a lack of Clarity in your dealings with people and in most cases, it's not done purposefully, it is very important to clear the way that articulates further dialog to explain intent. At this point, your own 'Social Processes of Leadership' must work to bring the other dimensions of the Law>to the forefront. Albrecht states, for example, "Those with high SI Clarity have mastered the ability to move from a "sky-high" level of abstract communication to a ground- or concrete-level. In simplistic form, they can pilot a "verbal helicopter," choosing terms, figures of speech, expression, analogies, and metaphors that position the listeners thinking process at the desired altitude."
It is critical that your understanding within a conversation is at the same level of the person you are interacting. Thus, they are capable of taking their listeners down to the lowest level of detail or up to the highest level of generality. This past summer, I reached out to a highly successful marketing firm to assist me in developing our company's elevator pitch in the marketplace.
In the context of "high SI Clarity," people that already possess the high, in most cases (this is not to say that people who do not have high SI Clarity can't be successful), will have an easier time in mastering the elevator pitch. I learned that my ability to master this concept for my organization and teams required practice in developing my own brief, compelling distillation of my important business idea, course of action, and point of view that conveyed my organizations intro before reaching the desired floor. In working with the marketing company, it was clear to me that the lofty $20 words didn't relay Clarity within our message, yet learning to express our messages in a compact and effective way became increasingly useful and clear to the end user – and to me as the individual responsible for developing the message.
Albrecht believes that when people become aware of the value and impact of a semantically flexible way of expressing ideas, they see how the smallest word can influence communication and understanding. For example, because the subtle effect of the "but" word ("my belief is that the way to conduct training should be done this way and not your way, but ..."), can cause conflict and create difficulty for people to successfully interact on an issue of importance. He also notes that owning up to your personal mistakes made in dialog (e.g. saying "I don't know," "I made a mistake," and "I changed my mind,") freely, appropriately, and without guilt, increases semantic sanity and cleans up one's language. Let's take a look at how one would go about building the skills of Clarity. Here are a few things that can be employed in doing so for building great teams:
- Articulation: Study how people with high SI Clarity present themselves by watching television and the way they present ideas, dialog of business concepts, etc. Watch how they sequence their elevator pitch, metaphors, use of facts and ideologies. Increase your level of intellect to prepare for your future.
- Personality Assessment: Take a personality assessment, such as our performance management assessment tool known as the "Breakthrough TTI 'PIAV' Assessment" to measures responses in each of the six attitudes all of us possess. The results demonstrate the "why" of your actions, which with application; can tremendously impact your valuing of life and level of Clarity. Once you know the attitudes that drive your actions, you will immediately be able to understand potential causes of internal conflict. You'll understand and appreciate your relationships more as you recognize and value the attitudes of other people. You will see how their attitudes might interact with your own that also adds Clarity across the community at large.
- Communications Development: try to learn ten new words per week and use them within your dialog when interacting with others. Learn clever metaphors and introduce them into your conversations, but be certain that they are expressing your intent to influence specific "spaces" affected by you and within your community relationships. Train yourself through learning the messages found in newspaper cartoons like "Dilbert" that express people interaction. The humor may add to the learning of something new.
- Practice Innovation: Use innovative ways of interacting with people. This is not to say that you go about trying methods that require you to understand the complexities that may be above your acumen, however; learn new techniques (e.g. thinking before speaking, or tacit knowledge – learning by doing).
What is Empathy "E"?
As we look at the last of the five dimensions of the Law of SPACE, the time has come to examine Empathy. This dimension looks at how individuals are truly aware and considerate they are of others feelings and their ability to become intertwined with people's individuality. In its normal subtext, being an empathetic person can be defined as a means for identifying with another person and appreciating and/or sharing their feelings. However, in the context of SI, there is also a sense of connectedness that encourages and strongly inspires people to cooperate within each other.
Thus, Albrecht defines empathy as "a state of positive feeling between two people, commonly referred to as a condition of rapport." Another way of looking at the dimension of Empathy is achieving synergies within relationship wavelengths that invite people to journey with you towards a shared-vision. This dimension may be lacking in organizations that are employing change models throughout the system. In most cases, the organization experience resistance from a change agent's naysayer who simply resist any transition from old to new methods for getting things done. Killing other people's ideas by saying things such as, "it won't work here, or we tried it before" is particularly toxic.
However, taking the proactive approach identifying reasons why a change model can work based on theoretical underpinnings and past successes will offer opportunities for successful acceptance that has a greater potential for getting people to listen and respond with greater receptiveness. According to Albrecht, another step in building the Empathy dimension involves the adoption and increased use of positive and nourishing behavioral influence that requires more than avoidance of toxicity. Empathy requires a significant investment and long-term commitment rather than an episodic application of wit and charm. By not making the proper form of commitment or investment, eliminating toxic behavior only produces apathy. Take a look at the "Toxic vs. Nourishing Behavioral" chart to identify the two as they play within the dimension of Empathy.
Figure 1. "Toxic vs. Nourishing Behavioral" Chart
Chart
Here are a few ways to build empathetic connection between people: being attentive, appreciative, offering affirmation, sustaining process improvement thru supportive behavior, and adopting our silver lining: doing what is right always extends confidence in others by your actions, and instills positive actions to add value through their own behavioral influences – tacit knowledge. Within the workbook segment for learning the Empathy dimension, further articulation for Empathy is found in a short exercise that we developed known as the L.E.A.P.S. Factor: Empathy by Design.
The exercise is derived from Dr. George Thompson's "Verbal Judo" concept used within his training seminars and publications based at his New Mexico facility. Similarly, our exercise is designed to instruct people how to deal with angry, irrational, or even dangerous individuals within a specified community using "tacit knowledge" as a paradigm for foundational approach. Its design is dynamic for law enforcement officials, teachers, youth development specialists, and other high risk professionals in our society. The exercise uses the word as an acronym: L. Listen, E. Empathize, A. Ask, P. Paraphrase, S. Summarize. The L.E.A.P.S. Factor: Empathy by Design exercise promise to be fun in nature but stimulating in its approach for successful application. Please contact us at Tools@ArtofDetachment.com to get your copy of the L.E.A.P.S. Factor: Empathy by Design exercise.
Let's take a look at how one would go about building the skills of Empathy. As we look at building personal skills and do the things that are necessary to increase an individual's dimension of Empathy, here are a few things that can be employed in doing so for building great teams:
- Bird Watching: As in bird watching that allows the study of behavioral actions, try looking at people within your community who seems to have challenges connecting with others. Try to observe their behaviors to identify reasons that may be contributing to their inability to connect with proficiency. Establish a relationship, keeping your "toxic" and "nourishing" behavioral contexts at the forefront, and see if you can successfully suggest ways they may be able to improve. Also, try to identify how people that connect easily with others use behavioral and attitudinal approaches to their advantage in doing so. Make a list of their attributes and characteristics that you feel can assist you and others for improving in the area of empathizing well with others.
- Dead Man's Stare: In the U.S. Marine Corps, it is rare to see a Marine smile in their photographs. This would lead others to believe that Marines are not the funniest people in the world. Keeping this picture on your mind, imagine meeting a U.S. Marine in a social setting; he/she has the face of stone or what we call the "dead mans stare" (meaning, their stare seems to go right through you). How would you approach this type of person? What are some of the things that you would say to loosen them up for the occasion? How would you go about getting them to laugh or loosen up? Write down a few things that would offer suggestive ways of supporting this person's ability to become a social butterfly.
- The Conflict: This is a tough one. The next time that you find yourself within an argument or conflict with another person – a spouse, personal acquaintance, etc, after you walk away and calm down, write down the "toxic" behaviors from each participant during the conflict. Remember that toxic are empathy-destroying things in a relationship. Afterwards, take a look at the list and determine at what point you could have contributed to a "nourishing" comment that may have concluded the conflict sooner or with a greater outcome. This is a great exercise to do within your professional relationships. It will help you to further understand the people you work with and empathize with their short comings, if any, and create strategic advantages to the team instead of matriculating strategic vulnerabilities into the future.
Summation
Building great teams is not an easy feat to accomplish. If it were, we would have them across every single organization and community. There would be less complexity in our communities and organizations and greater levels of leadership. The challenge with motivating people is that each person is different. They come from different backgrounds, speak and think differently, act and react differently, and most of all, each person has a different agenda. The critical part to building a dynamic team of individuals that all share the same vision is to get them to understand their survival ultimately depends on their success as a unified front.
Moving them into the Law of SPACE creates opportunities for every team associate to be influenced with a positive and creative perspective and opinion due to their understanding of each other perspective within the community. Be warned; the Law of SPACE is optional and allows the individuals and the team to become a greater influence and motivator of excellence using leadership as the stimulus and a shared-vision for execution. Allowing the team to witness the actions of their leader(s) and not just hearing second hand the orders coming down through a third party places a level of respect in the minds of the entire system. As they continue to see leadership's actions reap significant benefits to themselves, the organization, and the team, an increase in morale and trust across the system will become apparent and you will benefit from the constructs of a dynamic team-centric environment.
The Recap of the Morale Constructs Strategy
Paradigm: "The Morale Constructs Strategy." The secret to building a shared-vision across an organization is to get the associates to think less of their motives and more of the mission at hand. Achieving this measure requires trust, credibility, character, and an understanding of your situational awareness at all times. Ensure the members of the community each understands the competitive forces against the system and the potential outcome should the forces breach the talent fields of the organization. Turn the mission into a crusade that everyone is a major influence to narrow the competitions base of support and room for tactical maneuvering. Always lean on "right," as the good guy's white hat never hits the ground due to his convictions and disposition for righteousness.
"There always are concrete human groupings which fight other concrete human groupings in the name of justice, humanity, order, or peace. When being reproached for immorality and cynicism, the spectator of political phenomena can always recognize in such reproaches a political weapon used in actual combat."
- Carl Schmitt (1888 - 1985)
For additional information on the "Morale Constructs Strategy" and using this tactic as a means for influencing greatness within a team-centric environment, our Art of Detachment publication (Available at: www.KendallHunt.com, ISBN10: 0-7575-4360-X and ISBN13: 978-0-7575-4360-9) is available pre-orders now. The official release date is Wednesday, 1 August 2007. The publication provides additional value to the subject of building great teams and more. This is one that should not be missed and an absolute "must" have for your leadership and organizational behavior library.
The dimensions are based on the breakthrough work of Harvard University's Howard Gardner on the topic of human intelligence; however, as we think about building dynamic teams, adopting the works of author Karl Albrecht's publication titled "Social Intelligence, The New Science of Success." Social Intelligence provides a simplistic explanation and leadership perspective on why people treat others in ways that may or may not be acceptable. As you can imagine, this is a discussion that can achieve no end road as it relates to the dynamics of building great teams. The five dimensions of Social Intelligence, also known by its short name "SI," are outlined to identify perceptiveness, situational savvy, successful interaction, and transferable skills as the drivers for successfully interacting with people across a community.
Sometimes, as we begin to learn something that comes across as phenomena, we quickly realize that the paradigm it presents is not rocket science. In most cases, it presents knowledge that is common sense and probably has been in use by the learner for some time but known by a different name or technique. Social Intelligence poses no difference. The dimensions found within the Law of SPACE have been grouped into a knowledge paradigm to instruct on the topic of 'trust' from an even deeper perspective.
The Law of SPACE can be summed up simply as: having the developed potential, when applied correctly, to engage everyone within a community in a lively, insightful, and compelling exploration of the most crucial of human competencies. SI offers a 'real-life' framework filled with examples and practical tools and skills. This law is your guide for navigating your way through the sometimes mystifying, sometimes hilarious, and always stimulating world of person-to-person interactions. This explanation was inspired after author Albrecht conducted exhausting research for his publication. Social Intelligence, SI, and/or the Law of SPACE have been adopted within most successful organizational communities for building great teams. It offers a dimensional approach for growing into the immediate future "stronger," as a team, and places a significant focus on behavior and action from every individual within the community.
The Law of SPACE places a set of keys within the hands of life – for everyone to drive humanity – into greater levels of accomplishment. The Law of SPACE outlines the five dimensions as followed:
S: Stands for Situational Awareness – Building the skills of SA.
P: Stands for Presence – Building the skills of P.
A: Stands for Authenticity – Building the skills of A.
C: Stands for Clarity – Building the skills of C.
E: Stands for Empathy – Building the skills of E.
It all begins with Situational Awareness "SA"
Situational Awareness, or by its short name "SA" is a human factors term which of late has become something of a buzzword. There is more to situational awareness than simply being 'aware of your situation.' Despite its popularity and ubiquity as it relates to Social Intelligence, there is much debate within the scientific literature about what SA is, how it works, and whether we need such a concept at all. Situational Awareness is described as comprising three focused levels:
Level 1. Perception of elements;
Level 2. Comprehending the meaning of the elements; and
Level 3. Achieving an understanding to project manage future states.
Situational Awareness can be described variously as having a 'situational radar;' knowing and understanding what is going on around you and predicting how things will change, or, in other words, 'being coupled to the dynamics of your environment.' Your situational radar means that you have a respectful interest in people. If your radar is not working to its capacity meaning, you may be preoccupied with your own feelings, interests, needs, and interactions, people may not be willing to accept you socially and/or cooperate with you in a respectful manner. Let's take a look at how one would go about building the skills of Situational Awareness. As we look at building personal skills and do the things that are necessary to increase a person's capacity and transferable skills, here are a few things that can be employed:
- People Watching: Have you noticed in your travels that watching people out in public offers an entertaining, interesting, and questionable experience? When you're out in a mall, walking throughout the community that you live, or anywhere that people gather, take a look at how people interact with the relationships that are with them. Also, take a look at how people interact with the community of individuals that are within the space. Try to figure out what types of relationships you see. Do they affiliate their affection to one another or do they seem cold or antagonistic?
- Identify your own Proxemic Contexts: Proxemic Contexts are the dynamics of the physical environment that people are interacting, the behavioral makeup that stimulates the structure within the space, and the influence the space has on the entire community. It has to do with the informal or personal spaces that surround individuals. This can be classified by three different types of space: intimate space, social and consultative spaces, and public space. Intimate space is the closest bubble of space surrounding an individual. Entry into this space is acceptable only for the closest friends and intimates. Social and consultative spaces are those that people feel comfortable conducting routine social interactions with acquaintances as well as strangers. Public space is the area of space beyond which people will perceive interactions as impersonal and relatively anonymous. Ask yourself a question: how does your behavioral influence effect your physical structuring of space and the way people behave within those spaces? Remembering the three types - do you spend more time in one space over another? For example, when you enter a room in the workplace, where do you navigate to? How does your arrangement within the office communicate your opinion of status, attitude, or authority?
- Linguistic Framework: Practice the various language buzz words heard throughout the day and think about how their meanings influence greatness or cause disharmony within your community. How a person's varying languages identify levels of social status (slang, speech, profanity, etc) and their influence on others?
- Relationship Identifiers: Do you understand the non-verbal signals that people use to define their intentions on relationships? How do you and others within your community convey authority and/or approachability? Practice learning the signals, as they are drivers for understanding behavioral influence.
Here's a Situational Awareness Scenario
You are standing in the parking lot preparing to enter a building. At that moment you witness a man driving into the parking lot, exit his vehicle, and open the trunk of his car. As you continue to watch, you notice the man as he begins to take a firearm out of a case and make sure that it is loaded as it is placed on his waist side. Afterwards, he takes a jacket out of a bag and puts it on to conceal the weapon. At that moment, you've already entered the building and as you begin to speak to the person at the front, the man from the parking lot enters the building walking at a fast pace towards you. He enters your intimate space and a conversation begins.
Questions:
- What are you thinking after reading the scenario?
- What is the non-verbal language telling you about the situation?
- How do you feel about the man entering your intimate space?
- By the way, the building is a police station; the man is a police officer; you are responding to a call from an officer about what you witnessed at a crime scene; and the man is the person who contacted you.
- How do you feel now?
What is Presence "P"?
Presence is one of my favorite dimensions identified within the SPACE model for the simple reason of "bearing." As a United States Marine turned business professional, my entire life as a Marine depended upon my professional bearing – my external sense of "self" that those individuals around me perceived: my level of confidence, self respect, and self worth all have to do with my bearing or "presence." My bearing or presence is also the way my appearance, attitude, and demeanor all influence the relationships within my community. Presence can also be defined as your physicality that allows for and provides the necessary "give and receive" respect and attention.
Presence also involves listening, but not only as it is defined, but also to listen and hear a person with the necessary skill set that creates and provides a quality of self-assurance and effectiveness achieved by the receipt of knowledge that allows one to connect with other people. As a person responsible for building great teams, it is very important that individuals convey confidence, professionalism, and friendliness to those within the community and who are influenced by your personal bearing.
Let's take a look at how one would go about building the skills of Presence. Although I am biased in my opinion, I can't discard my experiences as a U.S. Marine to outline ways of building the skills for bearing or "presence." As we look to increase a person's skill set in the dimension of Presence, here are a few things that can be employed in doing so for building great teams:
- Be Yourself: It is very important that you believe in yourself and be who you are as a person. Have the confidence to act in a fashion that presents you to others keeping an honest presence at all times. Find your natural self (walk, talk, stand, dress, speak, and interaction with others) and express your own voice. Imagine yourself meeting "you" on the street. How would you like to be represented? How would your first impression leave a lasting impression on you in the meeting?
- Self Description: If you were to ask someone to write a description about how they see you as a person, what do you think they would write? It is important to begin working on the areas that require improvement so that you can build a solid image for the way others perceive you and expect you to act by your history and actions.
- The Phone Message: All of us hate the way we sound when we have to setup a new outgoing message on a new telephone. If you're anything like me, you have to record your new outgoing message several times before choosing on the one that best fits your taste at that time. Try listening to your voicemail outgoing message to see how others hear you and perceive you if a caller don't know you intimately. Make a note about the changes you may want to make and execute those changes accordingly. Try doing this at least a few times per year.
- Relationship Mirror: Ask a close friend about their (brutally honest opinion) perspective when they met you for the very first time. It is important to be prepared to receive information that you might think is unfavorable, but don't get caught up in the personal conflict trap that you may create for yourself.
What is Authenticity "A"?
Authenticity refers to the truthfulness of origins, attributions, commitments, sincerity, and intentions; not a copy, phony, or misinterpretation for a way of behaving, which engenders a perception that one is honest with one's self as well as others. Author Karl Albrecht states it best; "when people respect themselves, have faith in their personal values and beliefs, and are 'straight' with others, they are likely to behave in ways that others perceive as authentic. However, in the context of SI, Authenticity involves more than simply being oneself and includes the ability to connect genuinely with other people, which demands empathy and compassion."
Let's take a look at how one would go about building the skills of Authenticity. As we look at this segment within the Law of SPACE, the dimension realizes how honest and sincere you actually are with people. In order to build on the skills that allow you to be honest with yourself first and others, one must first examine "narcissism" and "altruism," as they both relate to how we are as people. Narcissism can become pathological if it renders a person incapable of dealing with people in a responsible manner – respectful encounters. Whereas, altruism is defined as being completely unselfish for the welfare and concern of others. Here are some signs that relate to people who may exhibit qualities of narcissistic behaviors:
- Self focus during interpersonal communication.
- Difficulty maintaining and creating relationships.
- Lacking within the dimension of "Situational Awareness."
- Lack of empathy.
- Having difficulty seeing themselves as others see them.
- Vulnerability to shame over guilt – the mirror effect.
What some my see as narcissistic behaviors can easily be identified as lacking Authenticity. Things you can begin practicing and incorporating into your daily routine to increase your own dimension of Authenticity and those transferable skills for building great teams may include:
- The Past Represents the Future: Think about something you've done in the past week or moth that completely went against what you actually wanted to do instead. Did you give into yourself? Did you go along with something to reduce the amount of potential conflict within a group? How did popular culture influence your decision that caused compromise within your mind?
- Reference: The book store has become one of my favorite places to shop for materials that help me to grow in different areas of my life. Try doing this for yourself. Get yourself a great book on vales, behaviors, attitudes, etc. Review the areas that you feel may help you to improve on. If you agree with the information that is gathered from the publication, look to see if your own behaviors reflect the information you find as intriguing process improvement.
- Life's Business Plan: Learn how to develop a business plan (abbreviated) and make one for yourself. The "executive strategy, mission statement, posture statement," etc all lead to a specific objective. Developing one for your life helps to define areas that may not be aligned with your life's objectives. Review the information daily and ask yourself if you are meeting the objectives outlined by your newly defined strategy, mission and posture statements.
What is Clarity "C"?
What are your thoughts when you think about Clarity? The answer to this question has festered on my mind in troubling ways. As an entrepreneur, I've come to understand the critical importance for the dimension of Clarity. It's amazing to me how Social Intelligence is so apparent within my current reality, especially this specific dimension. I believe that Clarity may be the greatest dimension within the SPACE model. Clarity is defined as the ability to express one's self "clearly."
This is only successful when the use of specific language becomes effective in its translation that explains meaning, definition, and concepts clearly. Allow me to use my own reality as an example. Within the business dealings for my organization, I've been approached by community activists to bring our experience and program models into their community to instruct on the lessons of strategic planning and transformational thought. In order to successfully accept and complete the assignment, a decision was made to reach out to colleagues for assistance. Knowing that no compensation would be received, my position on the issue required me to express to my colleagues that compensation is not the driving force but the company is accepting the assignment to help the end users reach greater levels of personal achievement. The team was assembled and the assignment went off without fail. Everyone was happy at the end of the day, or so I thought.
Weeks after the event, conversations were presented to me about my colleagues joining the firm as full time associates. I was elated; as I believed that our synergies presented opportunities that future interactions would be aligned with developing greatness for our community and the communities we service. The discussions led to further articulating how individual experience levels, attributes, personal levels of mastery, and future goals and objectives would add value to the organization. I believed that my level of Clarity was explicit, defining my intentions with specificity. I learned that I had not been as clear as I believed. The business of human interaction is one that requires effectiveness within the paradigm of "tacit knowledge." Tacit knowledge is the science of "learning by doing."
The challenge lies in the learning aspect; meaning, if you have 'learned' to do what you believe is right, it is your responsibility to ensure that the 'doing' reflects the absolute correct way for completing the tasks and not the right way that you have been shown to do something. What am I referring? Most of us have come across a team member that is responsible for showing us how to complete a task on the job. In some cases, the demonstration is shown with a shortcut that eliminates steps and processes. We all know that the steps and processes are there for a reason. As this example relates to Clarity, each one of us can think about a common mistake made in the past when communicating with other people; we sometimes make the assumption that people automatically understand our intent, effort, and a passion for completing a task and our explanation to them about doing the same.
It may seem like I am leading you down a path that is beginning to become unclear. I am doing this on purpose to make a point. After reading the previous statements about tacit knowledge, I understanding what I am talking about, but you may not as it pertains to the context of Clarity. It is so important that all members within a community seeking a shared-vision that meets specific outcomes to understand the power of language as a medium of thought and expression and to use it as a strategic and valued asset when interacting with people. Back to my dilemma; although I believed that I was very clear within my dialog with my colleague, I lacked in my behavioral social influence that spoke louder than the words that were coming out of my mouth. By allowing my colleagues to continue to be a part of the dealings of the organization and then engaging within the human resource elements for the company, my colleagues had already moved past that point because my actions demonstrated that they had already been accepted within the company successfully.
My behavioral elements allowed for my colleagues to enter my intimate space – whereas in my mind, they were still operating within my social and consultative spaces (refer back to Proxemic Context). So, as I traced my mistakes back to understand that my own Clarity issues caused a significant problem amongst individuals that I respect and keep in high regard. The result; my colleagues and I ended up in public space – the area of space beyond which people will perceive interactions as impersonal and possibly anonymous, as communications between a team of very good people went cold.
This situation within my own personal community caused me to have to look deep within myself to decide if loosing relationships over a lack of Clarity was worth the loss of respected friendships. My answer was "no!" You see, when you experience a lack of Clarity in your dealings with people and in most cases, it's not done purposefully, it is very important to clear the way that articulates further dialog to explain intent. At this point, your own 'Social Processes of Leadership' must work to bring the other dimensions of the Law>to the forefront. Albrecht states, for example, "Those with high SI Clarity have mastered the ability to move from a "sky-high" level of abstract communication to a ground- or concrete-level. In simplistic form, they can pilot a "verbal helicopter," choosing terms, figures of speech, expression, analogies, and metaphors that position the listeners thinking process at the desired altitude."
It is critical that your understanding within a conversation is at the same level of the person you are interacting. Thus, they are capable of taking their listeners down to the lowest level of detail or up to the highest level of generality. This past summer, I reached out to a highly successful marketing firm to assist me in developing our company's elevator pitch in the marketplace.
In the context of "high SI Clarity," people that already possess the high, in most cases (this is not to say that people who do not have high SI Clarity can't be successful), will have an easier time in mastering the elevator pitch. I learned that my ability to master this concept for my organization and teams required practice in developing my own brief, compelling distillation of my important business idea, course of action, and point of view that conveyed my organizations intro before reaching the desired floor. In working with the marketing company, it was clear to me that the lofty $20 words didn't relay Clarity within our message, yet learning to express our messages in a compact and effective way became increasingly useful and clear to the end user – and to me as the individual responsible for developing the message.
Albrecht believes that when people become aware of the value and impact of a semantically flexible way of expressing ideas, they see how the smallest word can influence communication and understanding. For example, because the subtle effect of the "but" word ("my belief is that the way to conduct training should be done this way and not your way, but ..."), can cause conflict and create difficulty for people to successfully interact on an issue of importance. He also notes that owning up to your personal mistakes made in dialog (e.g. saying "I don't know," "I made a mistake," and "I changed my mind,") freely, appropriately, and without guilt, increases semantic sanity and cleans up one's language. Let's take a look at how one would go about building the skills of Clarity. Here are a few things that can be employed in doing so for building great teams:
- Articulation: Study how people with high SI Clarity present themselves by watching television and the way they present ideas, dialog of business concepts, etc. Watch how they sequence their elevator pitch, metaphors, use of facts and ideologies. Increase your level of intellect to prepare for your future.
- Personality Assessment: Take a personality assessment, such as our performance management assessment tool known as the "Breakthrough TTI 'PIAV' Assessment" to measures responses in each of the six attitudes all of us possess. The results demonstrate the "why" of your actions, which with application; can tremendously impact your valuing of life and level of Clarity. Once you know the attitudes that drive your actions, you will immediately be able to understand potential causes of internal conflict. You'll understand and appreciate your relationships more as you recognize and value the attitudes of other people. You will see how their attitudes might interact with your own that also adds Clarity across the community at large.
- Communications Development: try to learn ten new words per week and use them within your dialog when interacting with others. Learn clever metaphors and introduce them into your conversations, but be certain that they are expressing your intent to influence specific "spaces" affected by you and within your community relationships. Train yourself through learning the messages found in newspaper cartoons like "Dilbert" that express people interaction. The humor may add to the learning of something new.
- Practice Innovation: Use innovative ways of interacting with people. This is not to say that you go about trying methods that require you to understand the complexities that may be above your acumen, however; learn new techniques (e.g. thinking before speaking, or tacit knowledge – learning by doing).
What is Empathy "E"?
As we look at the last of the five dimensions of the Law of SPACE, the time has come to examine Empathy. This dimension looks at how individuals are truly aware and considerate they are of others feelings and their ability to become intertwined with people's individuality. In its normal subtext, being an empathetic person can be defined as a means for identifying with another person and appreciating and/or sharing their feelings. However, in the context of SI, there is also a sense of connectedness that encourages and strongly inspires people to cooperate within each other.
Thus, Albrecht defines empathy as "a state of positive feeling between two people, commonly referred to as a condition of rapport." Another way of looking at the dimension of Empathy is achieving synergies within relationship wavelengths that invite people to journey with you towards a shared-vision. This dimension may be lacking in organizations that are employing change models throughout the system. In most cases, the organization experience resistance from a change agent's naysayer who simply resist any transition from old to new methods for getting things done. Killing other people's ideas by saying things such as, "it won't work here, or we tried it before" is particularly toxic.
However, taking the proactive approach identifying reasons why a change model can work based on theoretical underpinnings and past successes will offer opportunities for successful acceptance that has a greater potential for getting people to listen and respond with greater receptiveness. According to Albrecht, another step in building the Empathy dimension involves the adoption and increased use of positive and nourishing behavioral influence that requires more than avoidance of toxicity. Empathy requires a significant investment and long-term commitment rather than an episodic application of wit and charm. By not making the proper form of commitment or investment, eliminating toxic behavior only produces apathy. Take a look at the "Toxic vs. Nourishing Behavioral" chart to identify the two as they play within the dimension of Empathy.
Figure 1. "Toxic vs. Nourishing Behavioral" Chart
Chart
"Toxic" Behaviors | "Nourishing" Behaviors |
Without "stokes" | Giving positive stokes |
Throwing verbal barbs, "zingers" | Kidding positively |
Giving non-verbal put-downs | Giving positive stokes |
Patronizing or "parenting" a person | Treating a person as an equal |
Seeking approval excessively | Seeking and acting assertively |
Flattering others insincerely | Giving honest compliments |
Loosing one's temper easily | Deferring ones automatic reactions |
Playing "games" with people | Cooperating: giving positive stokes |
Disagreeing routinely | Agreeing where possible |
Speaking dogmatically, inflexible | Using "semantic flexibility" |
Bragging, scoring "status points" | Sharing another persons successes |
Violating confidences | Keeping confidences |
Breaking promises and agreements | Making only promises one will keep |
Joking at inappropriate times | Joking constructively |
Monopolizing the conversation | Sharing "air time" |
Interrupting others frequently | Hearing others out |
Changing the subject capriciously | Sticking to the subject |
Complaining excessively | Giving constructive suggestions |
Giving someone the "hard sell" | Suggesting, advising, negotiating |
Insisting on having one's way | Compromising, helping others |
Attacking or criticizing others | Confronting constructively |
Inducing guilt in others | Persuading honestly; negotiating |
Ridiculing others | Supporting others; sympathizing |
Shooting down ideas | Deferring judgment; listening |
Giving unwanted advice | Offering information and ideas |
The "Toxic vs. Nourishing Behavioral" chart is taken directly from Karl Albrecht's "Social Intelligence" publication, Pg. 140, Exhibit 6.1, "E" Stands for Empathy segment.
Here are a few ways to build empathetic connection between people: being attentive, appreciative, offering affirmation, sustaining process improvement thru supportive behavior, and adopting our silver lining: doing what is right always extends confidence in others by your actions, and instills positive actions to add value through their own behavioral influences – tacit knowledge. Within the workbook segment for learning the Empathy dimension, further articulation for Empathy is found in a short exercise that we developed known as the L.E.A.P.S. Factor: Empathy by Design.
The exercise is derived from Dr. George Thompson's "Verbal Judo" concept used within his training seminars and publications based at his New Mexico facility. Similarly, our exercise is designed to instruct people how to deal with angry, irrational, or even dangerous individuals within a specified community using "tacit knowledge" as a paradigm for foundational approach. Its design is dynamic for law enforcement officials, teachers, youth development specialists, and other high risk professionals in our society. The exercise uses the word as an acronym: L. Listen, E. Empathize, A. Ask, P. Paraphrase, S. Summarize. The L.E.A.P.S. Factor: Empathy by Design exercise promise to be fun in nature but stimulating in its approach for successful application. Please contact us at Tools@ArtofDetachment.com to get your copy of the L.E.A.P.S. Factor: Empathy by Design exercise.
Let's take a look at how one would go about building the skills of Empathy. As we look at building personal skills and do the things that are necessary to increase an individual's dimension of Empathy, here are a few things that can be employed in doing so for building great teams:
- Bird Watching: As in bird watching that allows the study of behavioral actions, try looking at people within your community who seems to have challenges connecting with others. Try to observe their behaviors to identify reasons that may be contributing to their inability to connect with proficiency. Establish a relationship, keeping your "toxic" and "nourishing" behavioral contexts at the forefront, and see if you can successfully suggest ways they may be able to improve. Also, try to identify how people that connect easily with others use behavioral and attitudinal approaches to their advantage in doing so. Make a list of their attributes and characteristics that you feel can assist you and others for improving in the area of empathizing well with others.
- Dead Man's Stare: In the U.S. Marine Corps, it is rare to see a Marine smile in their photographs. This would lead others to believe that Marines are not the funniest people in the world. Keeping this picture on your mind, imagine meeting a U.S. Marine in a social setting; he/she has the face of stone or what we call the "dead mans stare" (meaning, their stare seems to go right through you). How would you approach this type of person? What are some of the things that you would say to loosen them up for the occasion? How would you go about getting them to laugh or loosen up? Write down a few things that would offer suggestive ways of supporting this person's ability to become a social butterfly.
- The Conflict: This is a tough one. The next time that you find yourself within an argument or conflict with another person – a spouse, personal acquaintance, etc, after you walk away and calm down, write down the "toxic" behaviors from each participant during the conflict. Remember that toxic are empathy-destroying things in a relationship. Afterwards, take a look at the list and determine at what point you could have contributed to a "nourishing" comment that may have concluded the conflict sooner or with a greater outcome. This is a great exercise to do within your professional relationships. It will help you to further understand the people you work with and empathize with their short comings, if any, and create strategic advantages to the team instead of matriculating strategic vulnerabilities into the future.
Summation
Building great teams is not an easy feat to accomplish. If it were, we would have them across every single organization and community. There would be less complexity in our communities and organizations and greater levels of leadership. The challenge with motivating people is that each person is different. They come from different backgrounds, speak and think differently, act and react differently, and most of all, each person has a different agenda. The critical part to building a dynamic team of individuals that all share the same vision is to get them to understand their survival ultimately depends on their success as a unified front.
Moving them into the Law of SPACE creates opportunities for every team associate to be influenced with a positive and creative perspective and opinion due to their understanding of each other perspective within the community. Be warned; the Law of SPACE is optional and allows the individuals and the team to become a greater influence and motivator of excellence using leadership as the stimulus and a shared-vision for execution. Allowing the team to witness the actions of their leader(s) and not just hearing second hand the orders coming down through a third party places a level of respect in the minds of the entire system. As they continue to see leadership's actions reap significant benefits to themselves, the organization, and the team, an increase in morale and trust across the system will become apparent and you will benefit from the constructs of a dynamic team-centric environment.
The Recap of the Morale Constructs Strategy
Paradigm: "The Morale Constructs Strategy." The secret to building a shared-vision across an organization is to get the associates to think less of their motives and more of the mission at hand. Achieving this measure requires trust, credibility, character, and an understanding of your situational awareness at all times. Ensure the members of the community each understands the competitive forces against the system and the potential outcome should the forces breach the talent fields of the organization. Turn the mission into a crusade that everyone is a major influence to narrow the competitions base of support and room for tactical maneuvering. Always lean on "right," as the good guy's white hat never hits the ground due to his convictions and disposition for righteousness.
"There always are concrete human groupings which fight other concrete human groupings in the name of justice, humanity, order, or peace. When being reproached for immorality and cynicism, the spectator of political phenomena can always recognize in such reproaches a political weapon used in actual combat."
- Carl Schmitt (1888 - 1985)
For additional information on the "Morale Constructs Strategy" and using this tactic as a means for influencing greatness within a team-centric environment, our Art of Detachment publication (Available at: www.KendallHunt.com, ISBN10: 0-7575-4360-X and ISBN13: 978-0-7575-4360-9) is available pre-orders now. The official release date is Wednesday, 1 August 2007. The publication provides additional value to the subject of building great teams and more. This is one that should not be missed and an absolute "must" have for your leadership and organizational behavior library.
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